They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip 
 They say be careful where you come at night, I just shoot straight from the hip 
 When it comes to loves great fountain, I won't just take a sip 
 I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick 

 So it's me left with the baby and disease 
 You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees 
 You made me feel so special 
 Well you were especially good 
 I'm sorry that you misunderstood 

 These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath 
 But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath 
 I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief 
 'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree 

 So you've left me for another pretty face 
 That's not true I left you for one half the human race 
 Now I'm by myself 
 A woman who knows her place 
 It's not so much the chase, it's the race 

 They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her jewels 
 They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel 
 They say only marry once, I say only marry fools 
 They wouldn't have made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules 

 Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone? 
 I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on 
 You left a bitter scar 
 I tied those ropes too tight! 
 I'll tie them loose for you tonight 

 When I said that I loved you 
 I meant mini-correct 
 When I said I'd never leave you 
 I meant mini-correct 
 A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck 
 That was major correct