Your `fight them on the beaches' speeches make me despair 
 'Cause if there's one thing we can guarantee is you will not he there 
 Tidying your room, making up your bed 
 And if your diary's full that week you'll send us lot instead 

 Send us lot instead, put a poppy by my lovers bed 
 We believe you when you say you've hurt your back 

 Have you ever been away 
 Where were you when we took Calais? 
 You don 't know, you don't care 
 You 're just glad that you wasn't there 
 Have you ever been away 

 I'm afraid your Rule Britannia mania doesn't ring so true 
 If I was captain of the waves I'd turn the gun on you 
 Any last requests before you join dead? 
 I'll crap into your Union Jack and wrap it round your head 

 Wrap it round your head, take a look at all the blood we've shed 
 We'll believe you when you say it was worth it 

 Liberate the streets of Europe, give our kids a chance 
 Give them Beaujolais by tap and cheap day trips to France 
 But you have never seen or smelt this ungodly death 
 It's like the stench of roasted lamb upon your father's breath