It's out of my hands and all I can do is wait.
It's the not knowing that has put me in this state.
The minutes feel like hours; the tension is too great.
I've done my part and now it's in the hands of fate.

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
I shouldn't've fucked that prostitute without a prophylac-
tic waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
Regret is dripping from me like my semen down her crack
and now I wait...

My nerves, they have been frayed; my pants, they have been shat.
I know the nurse will say, "It's time to have a chat."
At least I'll never have to worry about getting fat.
I should think positive - no wait, I didn't say that!

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
I never should have blown that tranny in my Cadillac.
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
I just had to taste that sweet forbidden nectar from his sack
and now I wait...

Is it over, will my jersey be retired?
Will my name stitched upon a quilt be required?
Did I make a difference, was my life inspired?
Will Denzel Washington defend me when I'm fired?

Waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
Eating assholes shouldn't be an aphrodisiac.
Waiting for my AIDS test to come back:
If I'm clean I swear to god I will stop shooting smack
probably...

Come on Jesus let me live,
Make the test be negative.
Please forget and please forgive, 
Please don't let me have the 'hiv.'
Oh my god without delay
The nurse is coming straight away.
This is it, my judgment day:
Tell me, what does my test say?

I'M OKAY!
I'M OKAY!

IT'S JUST CHLAMYDIA!!!