Like a Surgeon

"Weird Al" Yankovic

I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passed at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid, yeah, I'm trying to avoid
A malpractice suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gauche nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last
Let me see, that I.V.
Here we go, time to operate
I'll pull his insides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign
It's a fact, I'm a quack
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die, yeah my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh, like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh ho, oh ho
Ooh baby, yeah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time