Canadian Idiot

"Weird Al" Yankovic

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot 
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut 
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head? 
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed 
They all live on donuts and moose meat 
And they leave the house without packin' heat 
Never even bring their guns to the mall 
And you know what else is too funny? 
Their stupid Monopoly money 
Can't take 'em seriously at all 
Well maple syrup and snow's what they export 
They treat curling just like it's a real sport 
They think their silly accent is so cute 
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot 
Sure they got their national health care 
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air 
Then again well they got Celine Dion 
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni 
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni 
All over Saskatchewan 
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot 
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius 
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us 
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous 
Always hear the same kind of story 
Break their nose and they'll just say