Vladimir Andropyournosin, veteran of the Soviet 
campaign for the liberation of the peoples of 
Afghanistan, after a period of convalescence in the 
German Democratic Republic, sat up in his hospital bed 
on a brisk February morning, put down the newspaper he 
was reading and rang the assistance bell next to his 
pillow.
The uniformed nurse arrived and supplied Vladimir with 
writing paper, a pen and an envelope.
Vladimir wrote
"To the advisory board for the Development of cultural 
visits to sympathetic States.
Dear Sirs, I have just read in last Septembers issue of 
Pravda that Doctor Mikhail Buggerovski, a colleague 
from the days of my lectureship at Moscow University, 
has been appointed as Scientific Advisor to the Soviet 
Delegation in Cuba for the promotion of soil mechanics 
at the research institute there.
Having survived the campaign of Afghanistan I am 
requesting that I continue my convalescence visiting Dr 
Buggerovski, assisting him in his work in Havana, for a 
period of time which the board deems fit.
Yours faithfully, comrade Andropyournosin."

Methodically he folded the letter, placed it in the 
envelope, sealed it and addressed it.
Six weeks later Vladimir was standing on the deck of 
the SS Ivanitch, a black sea tourist cruiser disguised 
as a missile carrying cargo vessel to deceive the 
Americans.
Waiting at the foot of the gangplank was Mikhail 
Vladerovsky.
Immediately they went to a bar and drank several ice 
cold Slivovitzes to toast each others health.
Mikhail outlined his work in Havana, a research project 
he had initiated there and the success he had achieved.
In fact, it had been rumoured that he would receive a 
medal of honour from the Kremlin itself.
The more he heard the more enthusiastic Vladimir 
became, and he slept soundly that night, eagerly 
awaiting the start of his new appointment the next day.
It was after the first week that Vladimir met Christos.
One evening he was strolling in the humid streets of 
Havana when he stopped for a night-cap in one of 
several bars that lined the streets.
Christos sat there, proud, manly and astonishingly good 
looking,
but with a boyish look about him and a vulnerability 
that appealed to Vladimir.
Before even realising it Vladimir was in conversation 
with him using a crude mixture of sign language and 
broken English and Spanish.
After about an hour, Vladimir realised there had been 
something missing in his stay in Havana : Fun with a 
big 'F'.
It wasn't that he didn't find Christos attractive - 
everyone did - but Vladimir had been cured of that 
illness, back home in the Soviet Union.
"many thanks to the Party that cares for its people" he 
thought.
However there seemed to be a new kind of energy in this 
bar.
People were talking non stop; their eyes seemed full of 
intensity.
After several hours Christos signalled for Vladimir to 
follow him into an adjacent room.
Christos then took out a big plastic bag containing 
white powder.
He shovelled a spoonful up his nose while inhaling 
strongly, then signalled for the perplexed Vladimir to 
do the same.
Suddenly everything became clear. Why of course, this 
was why there was so much sugar cane on the island, 
this was why everyone in the bar looked alert and 
intense, because they were sniffing the refined sugar, 
which gives you energy.
Christos winked, pointing to a bag of white powder.
"This is the reason we must get to Miami".
Vladimir pretended to understand, "but in order to get 
there we must be criminals and, or social undesirables, 
to benefit from a scheme set up by the American 
president, which our president is going to take full 
advantage of - ha ha ha!
- and so will we. You could say it is a foreign 'aids' 
programme! ha ha ha!