Washing machine, pinstripe dream 
Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
Found our nest, in the Daily Express
Met the vicar in a holy vest 
Brought up the children Church of E
Now I vegetate with a colour TV
Worst ever thing that ever happened to me
Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy 
Whatever happened to pillow fights 
Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights 
Whatever happened to lover's lane 
Whatever happened to passion games
Sunday walks in the pouring rain 
Curling tongs, mogadons
"I got a headache baby, don't take so long" 
Single beds, middle age dread
Losing the war in the Waistlands spread 
Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube
Who forgot to flush the loo
Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy
Whatever happened to morning smiles
Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles
Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives
Complements on unnatural size 
Propping up a bar, family car
Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
World war three, suburbanshee
Just slip her these pills and I'll be free
No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more
Goodbye Judy