Baby we've been together
For a long, long time
You get home from work
And then we just turn out the lights
Lately I've been dreaming
You in leather, me in lace
Let's put up the teddy bears
And get out the whips and chains

Give me weed instead of roses
Bring me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

Honey you don't have to worry
There ain't no one else for me
Lately we have fallen
Under the same routine
I ain't getting any younger
Oh but you don't seem to care
Let's trade in the boxers
For some sexy underwear

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

Let's send the kids to grandma
And call in sick to work
Put on some heavy metal
Rip the phone off of the hook
Go call your no good brother
We both know what he's been growing
I'll be waiting with the whipped cream
And baby let's get going

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot
You're looking better all the time
I don't need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let's see where it goes

You pull out the Polaroid
And I'll strike a couple poses
Oh let's get a little wild
Bring me weed instead of roses