Don't ask me why, don't ask me why
I joined the army, The Salvation Army
But it didn't help
Don't ask me why, don't ask me why
I joined the army, but it drove me barmy
And it didn't help

Hideous towns make me throw up 

Don't ask me why, don't ask me why
I went into service with The Civil Service
But it didn't help
Don't ask me why, don't ask me why
I went into service, but it made me nervous
And it didn't help

Ooh, hideous towns made me throw up 

And sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will just finish me off
Yeah, near enough 

Oh oh, my hopeless youth it's so uncouth
And oh, I'd like to be in history
I said, oh in my hopeless youth just so uncouth
So there you go and now you know
But just please don't 

Don't ask me why, don't ask me why
I went to the circus, Piccadilly Circus
It was very strange
Don't ask me why, cos I don't know why
Never one to roam, I took the first bus home
And I haven't changed

Ooh, hideous towns made me throw up

And I know sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will just finish me off
Yeah, near enough

Yes they do 
Said, oh my hopeless youth it's so uncouth
Said, oh and I'd like to be in history
Said, oh in my hopeless youth it's just so uncouth
So there you go, and now you know
But just please don't...
Please, please, please
Said oh, yeah my hopeless youth just so damn, oh oh
Yeah, my hopeless youth is really very young
Just really very young