When you're too old for the swings
 You tend to choose the slide
 And they never seem to warn you
 The slide's your final ride
 And when you're at the top of it
 And you cannot see the end
 Either don't let go son - Or grab the nearest friend
 The slide is no respecter of dignity or class
 As soon as you sit down on it
 That slide has got your ass

 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
 Heroes and villains have tried and cried
 A broken soul at the bottom lies denied
 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide

 When the slide was invented
 A thousand drinkers sighed
 They thought they had the copyright
 On the very word the slide
 It's a picture of innocence
 On which the innocent have fried
 Take the helter skelter son
 It's easier than the slide
 Advice to listening parents
 Or the father of the bride
 Let them marry anyone
 But don't let her take the slide

 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
 Heroes and villains have tried and cried
 A broken soul at the bottom lies denied
 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide

 It'll take you much much lower
 Than you ever would have asked
 'Cause as soon as you sit down on it
 The slide has got your ass - It's customers are fools
 And every one of them deceased
 The long and silver murderer
 The devil must have greased

 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
 Heroes and villains have tried and cried
 A pile of broken souls at the bottom it denied
 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide

 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide
 Heroes and villains have tried and cried
 A broken soul at the bottom it denied
 Don't take the slide, don't take the slide