Well the dice that I roll
 never seems to land on six
 and that 48 card pack
 is short of some of my old tricks

 The horse I bet on all those years ago
 is probably still running round the track
 Like the marriage that I gambled on
 I'm due my money back

 We could've learned, we could've burned
 from the firework love ignites
 but that sparkler of romance
 it proved impossible to light
 If your country code or your green cross code
 It can leave a lasting mark
 History books have showed, follow safety code
 and stamp out your final spark

 Well the husband that I married once
 I should've kept him in a cage
 Kept him sitting waiting there
 to show the tortoise middle-age

 Cause you never back an animal
 that struggles on two legs
 I'd rather back a stray with three
 then one that sits up and just begs

 Milk will curdle, cheese go off
 expensive wine mature
 kids grow up, parents down
 husbands turn to tragic bore

 Receipts and life insurance all very well
 but don't fully cover hate
 So you can't return this idiot
 When he's past his sell-by-date