There once was a time when the country was wide. A time 
before cars and planes and minivans. So, to move things 
from one place to the other, the railroad was built. 
But it just didn't up and build itself. Nope, it was 
built by the railroad men. And among these men was a 
man among men among men among men among men among men, 
a man as tall as the sky and as wide as the land. A man 
who could lay track faster than anyone else could run. 
A man with the strength of ten men. His name was John 
Henry, and I'm not gonna sing about him. No, I'm gonna 
sing about a lesser know figure, one who doesn't 
deserve a song. A man as lazy as a thousand men. A man 
who could barely raise his own body off the ground. A 
man who was barely a man at all. His name was Mike 
McCormick. 

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 
Who never really gave a damn 
Only thing he worked on was his tan 
Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 

He'd get up in the morning to hammer in them spikes 
Unless he'd been up drinking the previous night 
Or if his bones weren't feeling right 
Or if it looked like it was going to rain 

He had a tendency of being late for work 
And everyone around thought he was a jerk 
He'd take long breaks and say his back was hurt 
Then he'd have a drink to ease the pain 

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 
Who never really gave a damn 
Only thing he worked on was his tan 
Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 

Mike's dad: Mike! Mike! Get up, Mike! 
Mike: What, what is it? 
Mike's dad: Get up, it's time to go to work. 
Mike: Awww, already? 
Mike's dad: Well, don't you want to hammer in them 
spikes? 
Mike: No. 
Mike's dad: Oh. 

His arms were like twigs and his legs were like straws 
His hands were like a baby's bum they were so soft 
He'd wheeze and moan and whine and cough 
Then go home and take a little nap 

He never got fired 'cause he was the boss' son 
He just hung around and bothered everyone 
Never drove a spike, not a single one 
Though now and then he'd give a tap 

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 
Who never really gave a damn 
Only thing he worked on was his tan 
Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 

Mike's dad: Mike! Mike! MIKE! 
Mike: What? What is it? 
Mike's dad: They say they got a big machine that they 
say can drive in nails faster than any man alive. 
Mike: Sounds like a good idea. 
Mike's dad: No! No! No! 
Mike: Yeah, it'll work faster. 
Mike's dad: You don't understand! You see, it's gonna 
cost us all our jobs. You, Mike McCormick, gotta prove 
'em wrong! 
Mike: Okay. 

So he took his hammer and hammered one time (Ow!) 
He took his hammer and hammered two times (Oh, jeez!) 
He took his hammer and hammered three times (Ohhh!) 
Then he got crushed by a meteor and died 

Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 
Who never really gave a damn 
Only thing he worked on was his tan 
Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man 
Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man (steel drivin' 
maaaan)