W-F-U-K AM 420 now interrupts your regular radio programming for broadcast of the One Duck County Demon game. 
Hey pussies, and welcome to the first game of the new season. I'm Chuck Janke. 
And this is Wink Dinkerson. I tell ya, it was a rough year for our guys last season. 
Sure was. Well, it started off good, but then just went to straight fecal matter thrown into a DC-10 engine, if ya know what I mean! 
Yeah, some real turd action. 
Yeah, a shit-twister, if you will! 
Yeah, I heard Danny Boone had stomach surgery. 
Sure did. 
Apparently his liver fell out in his Warner Robbins home. 
God, what a dick. 
Really. 
Yeah, Brooks Buford ended up in the ER with a hole in his nose. 
Yeah, and we all know what that was from. 
We sure do. God, what an asshole. 
Who does he think he is? Darryl Strawberry? Geeze louise. 
Yeah, he's a little Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah, well, it looks like they're about to come out on the field now. 
Well, folks, let's hope for a better season than the last. America - 
Tell 'em Wink. 
Heeeeeeeeeeeeere come the Demons!