Naked Man

Randy Newman

Old lady lost in the city
In the middle of a cold, cold night
It was fourteen below and the wind start to blow
There wasn't a boy scout in sight

Pull down the shades 'cause he's comin'
Turn out the lights 'cause he's here
Runnin' hard down the street through the snow and the sleet
On the coldest night of the year

Beware, beware, beware of the naked man

Old lady head up toward Broad Street
Shufflin' uptown against the wind
She had started to cry, wiped a tear from her eye
And looked back to see where she had been

Old lady stand on the corner
With a purse in her hand
She does not know but in a minute or so
She will be robbed by a naked man

Old lady lean against a lamppost
Starin' down at the ground on which she stand
She look up and scream for the lamplight's beam
There stood the famous naked man

He say, "They found out about my sister and kicked me out of the navy
They would have strung me up if they could
I tried to explain that we were both of us lazy
And were doing the best we could"

He faked to the left and he faked to the right
And he snatched the purse from her hand
"Someone stop me," he cried, as he faded from sight
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"

Beware, beware, beware of the naked man