If I could read your minds
I kind of think I'd see
a lot of little questions there concerning me

For instance . . .

Has he aged, or did he put on weight?
I think I read somewhere that he's 38!
He hasn't lost his hair, but he could stand a little dye!
Looks relaxed up there but what's he like inside?

How does old Perra-louch unwind?
I can almost read your minds!

From my publicity
I'll bet you'd like to know,
if I'll stay awake thru the entire show?
You wonder what's beneath that Florida tan
deep down inside is he . . .
a dirty old man?

You wonder what it takes to make him lose his cool?
Does he have ''holy'' water in his swimming pool?
Would he pinch a girl's behind?

It doesn't take a guy equipped with ESP
to see what's goin' with your curiosity!
Is ''Mister Nice Guy'' just a press agent's pitch?
his dearest friends say he's a . . .

Now this may sound cliché, but clichés are often true
I'm glad you let me come an' sing my songs to you
and I'm happy that I find
that I could almost read your minds!