I wish you smelled a little funny 
Not just funny really bad 
We could roam the streets forever 
Just like cats but we'd never stray 

I sometimes wish you were a mermaid 
I could raise you in the tub at home 
We could take a swim together 
On weekly daytrips to the bay 

Oh, you and me 
It would be only you and me 
You and me 

I wish you were a little bigger 
Not just big but really fat 
Doors you would no longer fit through 
In my bed you would have to stay 

I often wish that you had feathers 
I'd keep you in a giant cage 
All day long I'd sit and watch you 
And sing for you if it would be okay 

Oh, you and me 
It'll be only you and me 
Oh, you and me 
It'll be only you and me 
You and me 

People say 
There are plenty of fish 
In the sea 
Baby, all I do I wish 

I wish, I wish I.. 

I wish you were a little slower 
Not just slow but pa-pa-paralyzed 
I could put you in a socket 
And you could never run away 

I really wish that you were smaller 
Not just small but really really short 
So I could put you in my pocket 
And carry you around all day 

Oh I would put you in my pocket 
And carry you around all day 

Oh, you and me 
It'll be only you and me 
Oh, you and me 
It'll be only you and me 
It'll be only you and me