You've been this way since school 
Dysfunctional, translucent 
Royalty on your wall 
So desperately mundane 

They're inbred baby just like you 
But you'd love the chance to eat their food 
Even though it has been chewed 

Royal correspondent 
Sad and lonely 
Royal correspondent 
Kills her daily 

Dream of the Daily Mail 
It is the Holy Grail 
And then the BBC 
Your life would be complete 

Build a fountain, wash away the poor 
Just as long as your motives are pure 
Hold on tight or you just might lose her 

Royal correspondent 
Wears their Sunday best 
Royal correspondent 
Smarter than the rest 

Royal correspondent 
Smarter than the rest 
Royal correspondent 
Smarter than the rest 

Royal correspondent 
Smarter than the rest 
Royal correspondent 
Smarter than the rest 

Smarter than the rest