Oh Beautiful Town

IAMX

I grew up blind just like everyone’s child 
In the warmth of milk and deceit 
Smothered by love and the chemical dust 
There was never enough to believe 

They chewed me up, they spat me out 
Of their system and onto their street 
And the rest of my life was a sprint to forget 
All the greatness that could never be 

Oh beautiful town 
I remember you blacker than night 
The whores and the sick-mouths 
The bad taste and the neon lights 

Oh beautiful town 
Where are you now with your binge insecurities? 
I shut you down, beautiful town 
Because you tear your children 
Into pieces 

Absence twisted with fondness 
Is the horror I couldn’t forget 
Programmed in the great art 
Of family, lies and debts 

Too much expectation 
Followed by hope and then hate in the mess 
And the rest of my life was a glorious test
Of my will and my selfish neglect 

Oh beautiful town 
I remember you blacker than night 
The whores and the sick-mouths 
The bad taste and the neon lights 

Oh beautiful town 
Where are you now with your binge insecurities? 
I shut you down, beautiful town 
Because you tear your children 
Into pieces 

On the floor boards under insolent feet 
I mapped the hopscotch to my parents’ retreat 
With a lavender bag in my hand 
And words of desperation on my tongue 

Good night father, good night mother 
Are you still awake?