Welcome to the United States

Frank Zappa

This form must be completed by every nonimmigrant 
visitor not in possession of a visitor's visa.

Type or print legibly in pen in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. 
USE ENGLISH.

Item 7 - If you are entering the United States by land, 
enter LAND in this space. (LAND!) If you are entering 
the United States by ship, enter, unh-unh, SEA in this 
space.

Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or 
No)

(No! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!)

A. Do you have a communicable disease; (COUGH NOW! 
Coughs . . . ) physical or mental disorder; or are you 
a drug abuser or addict?

Tell me, Bill, Yes or No. (No) Louder. (No!)

B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an 
offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a 
violation related to a controlled substance; or ever 
been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for 
which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five 
years or more?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes! Yes, sir! Yes! No! No! No!)

Or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you 
seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral 
activities?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes or No) Thank you!

C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in 
espionage or sabotage; or terrorist activities; or 
genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, 
in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi 
Germany or its allies?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes)

Thank you very much! And welcome to the United States!

Reiner Romer: Thank you very much! Here they go! Frank 
Zappa and Hermann Kretzschmar! Back on stage, Peter 
Rundel!