The Illinois Enema Bandit 
I heard he's on the loose 
I heard he's on the loose 
Lord, the pitiful screams 
Of all them college-educated women... 
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up 
(They'd be all bound down!) 
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla 
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice 
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag 
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice 

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag 
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice 
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag 
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice 

The Illinois Enema Bandit 
I heard it on the news 
I heard it on the news 
Bloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarm 
Just sneakin' around there 
From farm to farm 
Got a rubberized bag 
And a hose on his arm 
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump 
That he just might wanna pump 
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump 
That he just might wanna pump 
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump 
That he just might wanna pump 

The Illinois Enema Bandit 
One day he'll have to pay 
One day he'll have to pay 
The police will say, "You're under arrest!" 
And the judge would have him for a special guest 
The D.A. will order a secret test 
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest 
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks 
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!" 
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see, 
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy... 
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!" 
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?" 

WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? 
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY? 
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? 
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!" 

BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? 
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S 
YOUR PLEA? 
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!" 
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS? 
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..." 
"It must be just what they all needs..." 
"It must be just what they all needs..." 
"It must be just what they all needs..." 
"It must be just what they all needs..." 
"It must be just what they all needs..." 
etc. repeat 

Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema 
Enema 
repeat...