Broken Hearts Are For Assholes

Frank Zappa

Hey! Do you know what you are? 
You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE! 

Some of you might not agree 
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery 
But think a while and you will see... 
Broken hearts are for assholes 
Broken hearts are for assholes 

Are you an asshole? 
Broken hearts are for assholes 
Are you an asshole too? 
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole... 

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy 
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry 
So you went to The Grape, 
Just to give it a try 

And Dagmar 
Without a doubt, the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my life 
Was his name... 
One Two Three Four! 

The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his 
Pancake make-up 
And yet he was a beautiful lady 
Nearly drove you insane 

Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR 
And so you kissed a little sailor 
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production: 
Who had just blew in from Spain 

Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf 
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel 
The story of a demented bread-boffer 
And acted like it was cocaine 

Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf 
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko 
Then on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in town 
In a way you can't explain 

Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match 
With Kona. 
And so you worked the wall with Michael 
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite 

Which gave your back an awful strain 
Volcanic Hell 
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show 
Next Thursday, teen town's finest... 

But you forgot what I was sayin' 
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole 
That's right 
You're an asshole, you're an asshole 

Yes, yes 
You're an asshole, you're an asshole 
That's right 
You're an asshole, you're an asshole 

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest 
'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole 

You say you can't live with what you been through 
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too 
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you, 
But don't fool yourself girl 

It's lookin' at you 
Don't fool yourself girl 
It's winkin' at you 
Don't fool yourself girl 

It's blinkin' at you 
That's why I say 
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it 
Ram it up yer poop chute 

Corn hole 
Ram it, ram it, ram it 
Ram it up yer poop chute 
Fist fuck 

Ram it, ram it, ram it 
Ram it up yer poop chute 
Wrist-watch; Crisco 
Ram it, ram it, ram it 

Ram it up yer poop chute 
Pud! 

Don't fool yourself, girl 
It's goin' right up yer poop chute 
Don't fool yourself, girl 
It's goin' right up yer poop chute 
(etc., repeats) 

Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...