It's a God-awful small affair 
To the girl with the mousy hair 
But her mummy is yelling "No" 
And her daddy has told her to go 

But her friend is nowhere to be seen 
Now she walks through her sunken dream 
To the seat with the clearest view 
And she's hooked to the silver screen 

But the film is a saddening bore 
For she's lived it ten times or more 
She could spit in the eyes of fools 
As they ask her to focus on 

Sailors fighting in the dance hall 
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go 
It's the freakiest show 
Take a look at the Lawman 
Beating up the wrong guy 
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know 
He's in the best selling show 
Is there life on Mars? 

It's on America's tortured brow 
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow 
Now the workers have struck for fame 
'Cause Lennon's on sale again 
See the mice in their million hordes 
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads 
Rule Britannia is out of bounds 
To my mother, my dog, and clowns 
But the film is a saddening bore 
'Cause I wrote it ten times or more 
It's about to be writ again 
As I ask you to focus on 

Sailors fighting in the dance hall 
Oh man! Look at those cavemen go 
It's the freakiest show 
Take a look at the Lawman 
Beating up the wrong guy 
Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know 
He's in the best selling show 
Is there life on Mars?