We're gonna do this song for useless
Oh I was into whips and things she was into pain
And I would beat her black and blue when she called me names
Chained her to the basement wall where she went insane
And I was into whips and things she was into pain

Oh Finger Fuckin' Sally worked at Kelly's bar
She showed me her titties in Ronnie Murphy's car
She was the first lady to let me go that far
Finger Fuckin' Sally down at Kelly's bar

And Pussy Eatin' Pamela went to Kelly's high
Caught her in the bathroom, I thought she would die
Eatin' Susan's pussy, licked that sucker dry
Pussy Eatin' Pamela went to Kelly's high

Suck 'Em Silly Shirley came out after dark
She would give us head jobs in Centennial Park
All the girls would snub her, said she was a narc
Suck 'Em Silly Shirley from Centennial Park

Yes, good ole Bloody Marys' on the rag again
Pussy Eatin' Pamela's got blood on her chin
Suck 'Em Silly Shirley got caught after dark
Finger fuckin' Sally in Centennial Park

Now Pussy Eatin' Pamela's in the county jail
Suck 'Em Silly Shirley left town on a rail
They sent Bloody Mary to the pen for life
And Finger Fuckin' Sally
She became my wife

I was into whips and things she was into pain
And I would beat her black and blue when she called me names
Chained her to the basement wall where she went insane
I was into whips and things she was into pain