Ah, greetings young soldier
Come, join by the fire
And let me regale you with tales of
What the fuck is cracking

We're in an ancient time, we face an ancient threat
Civilisation's never dream this kind of danger yet
Historians are self-assured but they forget the daily tribulations
Of the cases from the place and age who met
Mythological creatures with the oddest of features
At this moment there's no place fricking horrid as Greece is
Until I cross the seas to Egypt and see that
When they say they've got a problem, they really mean it
For Prometheus, it seems that getting me's the easiest
Way they could alleviate the evil that is bleeding us
But I'm one of leagues of heroes, you best believe in us
It takes every drop of faith to battle evil thus
I tackled hell fire, to travel to Delphi
And fight what I find from Jackalmen to Telkines
I leave at least ten beastmen deceased, dead
Each second, 'cause I reckon they don't really even need breath
I cleave heads like a watermelon before telling a Merchant
Whatever he still hasn't bought, I'm selling
I've got to get the loot, the best produced
So I look fricking godlike whenever I'm next to you
From Greece to China, you'll never see a finer sort
I keep a pile of horns of Minotaurs and Gorgon Queens' vaginal walls
Purely for the reason that I coul arrive at home
And write and then recite this vile rhyme for y'all
I never meant to babble on but when I get to Babylon
I'm still only part way on the hard path I travel on
You won't find a travelodge here in the wilderness
The plans are just as dangerous as every building is
Filled with a selection of enemies to be killed
And it's down to you how you choose skills that you will kill them with
Are you built like a brick shit house or is using spells more a soothing sound?
Ensure you're choosing well
I'm felling skeletons as if I'm an elephant
Then a second later I'm repelling them with elegance
They're in the closet and I'm burying the evidence
I call the force of nature, every one of the four elements
I've been through countless winters, heat that'd burn hell to cinders
Just to lead me now to the heaving mound at Mount Olympus
I climb and shout "Oi, come out now and fight the best
Mortal to walk tall the final bout of Titan Quest"

Bars
Now, you may think these are the ramblings of a drunked old soldier
And you'd probably be right but when the shit hits the fan
Whatever a fan is, don't say I didn't warn you