Axe Murderer Song

Camper Van Beethoven

Why do lovers park down deserted lanes 
Near haunted houses or homes for the insane 
Like the deformed son who was locked in a shed 
Later escaped when he chopped off their heads 

Why do axe murderers only attack 
When you're partially nude 
Or you're taking a bath 
Though there are times I feel softer then most 
Some days like yogurt 
And some days like toast 

Sorority girls and fraternity boys 
Always deflowered if they're rich or they're spoiled 
So we never feel bad when Aunt Betty who's dead 
Surprises them lying on her wedding bed When we're making love now I feel so exposed 
Might you impale me or turn into those 
Creatures over in my mind 
Forget about the last five years 

Back in the woods along a dirt track there is a house 
An old women on the porch with three dogs 
One of them blind 
Who knows what will happen 
Or what blind dogs see 
And I wish there was some place 
I really wanted to be 
I'm crossing over