Me and Mr. Hohner

Bobby Darin

Me and Mr. Hohner
Standin’ on the corner
Not doin’ nothin’ to no one

When a squad car stops
And out jump cops       
"You one o' them, if I ever saw one!"

"One o' what?" I said
As my face turned red
"Up against the wall," says the tall one

"That’s a cute mustache
Have ya got any hash?
I’d like to make a buy," says the small one

Now da whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring?
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…

Me and Mr. Hohner
In Yuma, Arizona
Tryin’ to hitch a ride to Denver

Well, out o' a toll
Comes the highway patrol
To check up on my gender

Is it her or him?
Or maybe Tiny Tim?
"Now up against the fence," says the dense one

"You have picked a bad spot
To smoke your pot
Whatcha gonna do two against one?"

Now da whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…

Me and Mr. Hohner
Relaxin’ out at Kona
Hawaiian sun can be groovy

When a pair of MPs    
Yell out, "Freeze!"
And I think I gotta part in a movie

"Hey! I’m talkin’ to you
Tell me what did I do?
You’re a draft card burner," says the thin one

"We can tell by your looks
That you read too many books o' wars
And that’s because ya ain’t been in one"

Now the whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he…

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner…