Let me tell you about my mountain home 
Where all the ladies names are Joan 
Where husbands work back late at night 
Hopes are up for trousers down 
With hostess on a business flight 
Taxi in a Mercedes drive 
I hope that driver's coming out alive 
The garden is a dorsetted 
That lady - she's so corseted 
She's got 15 ways to lead that boy astray 
He thinks he's one and only 
But that lovely she's so lonely 
She pumps him full of breakfast and she sends him on his way 
What a sing song dance 
What a performance 
What a cheap tent show 
Oh no no no no no 

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up 

Silently she opens the drawer 
Mother's little helper is coming out for more 
Strategically positioned before the midday show 
Her back is arched, those lips are parched 
Repeated blow by blow 
Later at the party all the MPs rave 
About the hummers she's been giving 
And the money that they save 
To her it is skin lotion 
For his promotion to 
That flat in Surfer's Paradise with the ocean view 
What a sing song dance 
What a performance 
What a cheap tent show 
Oh no no no no no

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up 

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up - light up - light up 

Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up
Then the boys light up 
Then the boys light up