I like telling dirty jokes
And I like smoking crystal meth
But darling I love you
And I like laughing at retards
And I like throwing rocks at dogs
But darling I love you

I love you like the moon and stars
When little kids get hit by cars
Girl you know its true
Darling, I love you

I've been tryin' to move on
Since you left, since you've been gone
But it's so hard on me
Talked to a girl in first hour
Bought her a CD, bought her a flower
But she's a stupid cunt

But I'll take anything
And I'll take anyone
I'll take an angry lesbian with a loaded gun
I'll take a whore with syphilis, and gonorrhea too
But darling, I love you