There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy, 
He lived in a cage the size of his thumb
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks, 
He galloped around until hit by a car

Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird 
Just to remind myself I'll never fly
Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes 
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die

If my life was as long as the moon's, 
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day, 
I'd still be drunk by noon,
Yes, I'd still be drunk by noon.

Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer
At least then I'll get to watch TV all day
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers 
Even if all my questions are taken away.

If my life was as long as the moon's, 
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day, 
I'd still be drunk by noon,
I'd still be drunk by noon.