I was on my way to turn in illegal aliens to the INS
And your stupid fucking dog was barking at me
It sounded like a singer from a gay death metal band
I wanted to kick it in the fucking face

I sold your dog to a Chinese restaurant (4x)

After I beat the fucking shit out of it
I wanted to throw it through your fucking window
But I needed money to buy some more whiskey
So I sold it to a Chinese restaurant

I sold your dog to a Chinese restaurant (4x)

Your family ordered a pu pu platter
You didn't know what you were eating
It was your fucking gay faithful dog
While you were at the restaurant I lit your house on fire