At the top of the social ladder I speak 
Let me welcome you here officially 
To the back drop of martini clatter 
Break the ice with superficial chatter 
I'm glad to be this year's MC 
To greet the chic and the elite 
Yeah, you finally get to mix and mingle 
Pressing flesh until your fingers tingle 

Worldwide socialites unite 
OK, alright 

The band is grander than I recall 
The talk is cultured, if a little small 
Keep parading your charading manners 
Keep pretending that it really matters 
Don't ask, don't tell 
And please don't stare at the emperor 
In his underwear 
Special thanks to the snack committee 
Heavens, don't those tarts look pretty 

Worldwide socialites unite 
Enjoy the conversation 
But try to keep it light 
Just avoid the friction 
And if you feel conviction 
Well then, baby, step outside 
Let's keep the "lite" in social 
Let's keep the social light 
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite 

Worldwide socialites unite 
Avoid the dreaded question 
The meaning of our lives 
And as to God's existence 
Well, that's your private business 
And, quite frankly, impolite 
Let's keep the "lite" in social 
Let's keep this social light 
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite