The Mayor of Pussytown

Adam Sandler

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies 
ya'll ain't seen shit yet 
eh yo man let em know 
Oh yeah, guess who's back 
it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack 
don't care about cheddar or the paper chase 
i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my face 
a straight up chicken shit 
a pansy ass punk 
If i'm if i'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk 
while thugs are at the party bustin all ya'lls asses 
I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the fuck's my glasses 
Can't afford no rims my 
my fuckin dick's so small no bitch can suck it 
I don't pop 9's i got weak rhymes 
back in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times 
I roll solo i ain't got no clue 
i said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo 
afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark 
i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy fucks in the park 
denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts 
my fuckin auntie kicked my ass and she got 2 plastic hips 
when i step to the club feel free to stare me down 
because I just got re-elected the mayor of pussytown 
May-or-of-pus-sy-town 
When bangers hit the street i stay home and watch tv 
slumped out on the couch so no one can see 
unless I hear somebody knockin on my door 
then you'll see me crawlin cross the mother fuckin floor 
i've been a fuckin coward every day of my life,
that's why I pretend I don't know everyone's banging my wife 
i won't sit on the porch, i don't want no trouble 
i'm more afraid of goin out than the fuckin boy in a bubble 
when the shit goes down i make a break so fast 
look like a mother fuckin rocket goin past 
searchin for the sneakiest place to hide 
straight into the ladies room, ain't got no pride 
slippin slidin, runnin hidin 
you know damn well it's a scooter i'm ridin 
oh no here we go, out come the glocks 
i take off so fast i pop out my socks 
you gonna fuck with me, i'll cry then run 
i called the cops when i got shot with a fuckin squirt gun 
He clams up he shuts down 
His pants he almost shits 
He'll even look the other way if you grab his grandma's tits 
well I had a little poodle but neighbor's stoled her 
i'd shoot her with an ak but the kick hurts my shoulder 
i can't pop no gun and i can't fist fight 
hell i'm afraid to take out the fuckin garbage at night 
I use the steps in the pool cause i'm terrified to dive 
don't fuck with my floaties they's whats keepin me alive, bitch 
never drank remy never delt crack 
one time I smoked weed i had a panic attack 
if you're looking for my dick in the mens locker room 
just bring your binoculars with a fuckin super zoom 
naw i'm just playin i don't fuckin change in there 
the one time I did got my bush sprayed off with nair 
but did I stick up for myself no fuckin doubt 
i did what i do best, i broke the fuck out 
i ain't lookin at you i ain't tryin to front 
it's aight with me you called my jimmy a cunt 
freakin sneakin crawlin creepin 
when the gangs are bangin i'm in the basement sleepin 
i'm straight from the streets seen trouble in every side 
when the shit hits the fan i throw on a fuckin disguise 
fake nose fake wig fake beard 
it all worked pretty good 
sometimes I just use a map and a funny accent 
and pretend I got lost in the hood mother fucker 
now all you coward mother fuckers out there 
walkin round with your head hangin low 
just cause you ate one dick 
just know 
my man the mayor, had to suck off his whole high school 
case closed 
May-or-of-pus-sy-town